The lover longs to be with his beloved.
The state of the lover will become the state of the beloved... He will merge with, become one with and live with his beloved, to the extent of his love...
Because we do not really understand what love is, oftentimes we confuse ‘love’ with ‘like’.
When one likes, one wants to own!
When you like something, you want to possess it and have some form of control over it. This trait is common to all creation.
Some want to carry what they like in their pocket, some want to put a leash on it and show it off, and some want to capture it and put it away... But every creature, according to its creation and nature, wants to have some degree of control over the thing they like...
Love, on the other hand, is very different...
When you love, you only want to live for your beloved!
You only want to be with the beloved, you only take pleasure from the things from which the beloved takes pleasure, and refrain from what the beloved dislikes. Your mind, thoughts, soul, entire being becomes so filled with the beloved that everything reminds you of her, even when you are by her side, you long for her! Closeness seems far! You disappear, in you only the beloved remains! You look with her looks and evaluate with her evaluation, you begin to speak with her lips! Your eyes see none but her, your ears hear none other than her voice, your hands do not reach out to anyone but her!
You want her to have her grip over you at all times, to guide and administer you, to embrace you at all times! Even bodily closeness will seem like a terrifying distance. You will long to merge with her and become a single body, a single soul, a single consciousness!
If your nature appropriates it, love will burn you until you become annihilated in your beloved... And a time will come when others will see the beloved in your face, your eyes, your demeanor, and they will say, “You have become her!”
The one who likes will want to own... But the one who loves will give up everything, even his own existence and become naught in his beloved!
And then there are some who smell love, they think they are in love! But when it comes to giving something up for the beloved, the smell of love will be washed away by the soap of attachment!
He will not be able to detach from his money, his status, his close ones... He will not be able to detach from his environment, from ‘others’!
Then he will begin to recognize faults in the one he thinks he loves... He will begin to notice shortcomings and inadequacies... First, these will change his love into a feeling of sympathy; he will begin to watch from afar sympathetically... Then, what he thought was love will eventually turn into a nice memory. This experience will show him his nature does not have the program of love and he only thought his liking was love!
If the distancing was not instigated by him but by his assumed beloved, then his sense of liking will turn into hatred. He will begin to develop the desire for revenge and sway between his conscience and feelings of vengeance, thinking he was rejected, abandoned and put through what he did not deserve.
Whereas in reality, he will only be living the consequences of the love his nature is devoid of. He likes someone for their wealth, beauty, status, knowledge and/or qualities that appeal to him, but when he cannot possess his beloved, he falls apart by the disappointment and choses to live in pursuit of his own benefits.
The lover, on the other hand, has accepted to fall apart, to become isolated and to lose his money, fame, status, friend or family... His love comes from his nature, his servitude is to love... The Creator has created him to experience love through him... Thus, he does not mind giving up his parents, his wealth, his world!
The lover loves unrequitedly!